Dating a compulsive liar
Until they do, however, it’s impossible to connect with them, all the same. Cloud and Townsend warn that we need to stay away from these people.
Personally, I think people like this are pretty rare, but I agree, we simply can’t depend on them emotionally or practically.
Dating is a fact finding period where you should be discovering ‘facts’ that let you work out whether you can proceed, or whether you should be cautious, and/or abort the mission.
If you love and trust blindly and get sucked into being moved along at high speed, you will be blind in the relationship when you actually have a responsibility to yourself to have your eyes open. Slowing down and actually getting to know each other at a healthier pace creates a connection.
They need to wrestle with forgiving you and that’s now their burden. The deep connections you’ll make from telling the truth are worth it.
It’s an unfair burden, but we all have to face such things. It’s not important that everybody like you or approve of you. Telling the truth may mean you don’t get to be in control anymore or that people won’t like you as much.
Lying is manipulation, so if a person is a manipulator and gets caught lying, they are most likely going to keep manipulating.
I think some people want grace and certainly they can get grace, but when we lie, we make the people we are lying to feel badly about the relationships and about themselves. The person who lied probably assumed I felt such things, but I didn’t.He kept trying to pick up the pace of things and after some initial reluctance she let herself get swept up in it and started to trust him and her feelings increased.A weekend in the country, romantic walks in the park, lots of phone calls and texts, and then being introduced one night to his friends and colleagues who all said they’d never seen him like that, all in the space of a few weeks. I have countless emails from readers telling me stories of guys (and women) who moved the initial dating period along at high speed.It may take you some time to even understand what the truth really is.You’re going to feel ashamed and at risk, but you have to go there anyway.